Compliments
by caffeineaddict13
Summary: Ohmygod. Did she just call me hot? A series of Jacob and Bella vignettes, set in New Moon.
1. Compliments

**A/N:** Just a moment that _could_ have happened in New Moon. Typical Bella and Jacob. Something to pass the time.

--

It was my favorite part of the day. And not just because she was here (okay, _mostly_ because she was here. But that's not the point). It was a good day, for La Push, with moist, light air and the heavy scent of rain from the night before. Everything was so _green_—I would never quite get over that. The clouds were framed with pink-tinted sunlight, surrounding the beautiful white shapes with a silver ring of day. The humidity was enough to keep me warmer than usual, which was saying something, and it _had_ to be at least in the high 70's. I loved days like this. They made me want to lay on my back in the grass and moss all day, soaking in that wonderful _green-ness_, staring at the sky until it was _imprinted_ on my closed lids.

But I wasn't staring at the clouds. I was standing in my garage, looking carefully at the engine of an old, black motorbike, my hands black with grease and my naked top half shining in the bright reflection of sun that made its way into the otherwise dark space. Bella was sitting across from me, watching me work. There was something so incredibly _thrilling_ about having her here, watching _me_, being with _me_. She could be a million other places on a day like this, but she wanted to spend it with _me_.

I turned my head slightly, pretending to look for a screwdriver, hoping not to disrupt her daze. She was staring at my back with a strange intensity and I wanted so badly to know what was going through her head. What was Bella Swan thinking? She smiled softly.

"Hey, Bella?" I said quietly. She looked up quickly and blushed, like she had been doing something wrong. That just made me more curious. "Watcha thinking 'bout?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. She moved her head down to her tiny hand, picking at the edges of her nails.

I set down my tools, squatting in front of her. "C'mon," I urged.

"No," she mumbled, a small smirk forming on the edges of her lips. "It's none of your business, Jacob Black."

I shot her her favorite grin, stretching my wide beam all across my face. "Seriously, Bells, it can't be _that_ bad."

"I didn't say it was _bad_," she snapped, turning her attention closer on her fingers.

"If you're not telling me, then it _must _be bad."

"Well, it's not."

I leaned closer to her, placing my hand on her knee. She finally looked up at the contact, flashing me her sweet brown doe eyes.

"Bella, honey," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "If you continue to stare at me like I'm some piece of _meat_, and then refuse to tell me what you're thinking, I'm just going to assume that you were counting all the different ways you wanted to fu—"

"Jake!" Bella squealed, clamping a hand over my mouth. I felt her cool palm touch my face, and all I wanted to do was kiss it. It was so _pretty_. "That was _so_ _not_ what I was thinking."

She pulled her arm back and I immediately missed the feeling of it. "Oh yeah?" I smirked, crossing my arms over her thighs and placing my chin on them. "Then tell me."

She blushed again, a warm red spreading across her heart-shaped face. "I was just thinking…" Pause. Breath. Blush. "Justthinkingabouthowhotyoulooked," she mumbled, barely audible. "You know, working on the bike. Manly."

Ohmygod. Did she just call me hot? And manly? _Manly_?

It was my turn to blush. An involuntary smile widened my features. "You think I'm _hot_?"

"Well, you _are_," she replied, dipping her head down. "I mean, you _must_ see the way girls look at you. Even _I_ notice it, and we barely get out of the garage."

"I guess I never really looked."

Bella let out an adorable kind of snort. "Liar."

"No, really," I shrugged. It was true. Whenever I was out, I was either _with _Bella or _thinking_ about her. No other girl had ever caught my interest long enough for me to notice them staring.

"Right," Bella rolled her eyes. "You never noticed how every girl you pass immediately starts checking you out."

"Never," I said. "Honestly. I don't care about other girls." I looked at her, trying to make her understand. She must of, because she quickly looked away, pulling back as far as she could, which wasn't very much, considering I was still half-lying on her.

"Jake…" she said, half-groaning. "You know I don't…"

"I know," I said, quietly. "It's okay."

"Is it really?" she whispered, suddenly leaning very close. I could almost feel her breath on my face. I wanted so badly for her to move a little closer, close the distance between us. I wanted her to tell me that she _did_; that she _could_. But I knew she wouldn't. It wasn't so bad. She still loved me. Just not in the same way.

"I promise you, Bella, honey," I said firmly, taking covering her small hands with mine, "for as long as I live, I will always _always_ be thinking of you. No matter where I am, or who I'm with, yours will be the face I see when other girls are looking. _Yours_ will be the voice I hear whenever they call me hot. And it will forever be okay that you don't imagine me. I promise."

Quiet. Soft, sweet breaths; long, deep ones. Her fingers brushing across my chin.

"Forever is a long time, Jake."

I nodded. "I know. I'm planning on it."

--

**END**


	2. Protection

**A/N:** So I decided to turn this into a multi-chapter fic, just because. It's kind of a series of New Moon vignettes…moments we never saw between Jake and Bella. They're not connected, really, except that they happen around the same timeline. So…yeah. That's it. Enjoy.

--

I guess I never thought my life would turn out this way.

I was sitting in some cutesy ice cream store (you know—the kind where there are two e's at the end of 'shop' and the walls have pictures of old diners and kids with their arms around each other, looking sweet-as-pie licking matching ice cream cones), next to this beautiful girl. This older, shy, mysterious girl, with beep brown eyes and a smile that melted me harshly. And I was really, incredibly, _unbelievably_ happy.

"Jacob? Are you okay?"

My head snapped up at the sound of her voice, and I saw she was looking at me with concern. Internally, I grinned at her thoughtfulness, but kept the kind of cool demeanor that always seemed to disappear when I was around her.

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You just looked a little out of it, that's all."

I made a dreamy kind of face. "I was just so busy staring into your _eyes_," I said, keeping my voice low and husky, batting my eyelashes like a teenage girl. Bella chuckled, then blushed, and I was surprised that she could find my obvious joking a reason for embarrassment.

"You are so immature," she said, rolling her eyes. I responded by pouting my lip and nuzzling against her shoulder like a dog.

"Down, boy." She laughed and patted my head. I let out a little bark, and softly licked the back of her palm. "Jake!" she shrieked, hitting my shoulder. "Ew!"

I started to nip at her, letting out soft growls as she squirmed; enjoying the high-pitched yelps of amusement she interrupted with.

"Jacob?"

I stopped what I was doing and heard Bella do the same; her chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath from laughing so hard. I turned around and saw a boy—brown skin, dark eyes, dark hair—clearly he lived on the Rez.

"Um, hi," I said.

He walked closer towards me, squinting his eyes. "I, uh, sit near you in history, remember?" he said, cocking his head. "I'm Adam?"

Oh. "Yeah, I remember you. What's up?"

"Eh, nothing, I just—" Adam was interrupted by a crowed of similar-looking boys loudly entering, setting off the bells that rested on top of the doors. They walked towards us, yelling a bunch of _Hey, man!_'s and _Yo_'s.

"Adaaaaam!" one of them howled, slapping said boy on the back. I saw Bella stare, and thought vaguely if she was wondering about the antics of teenage boys. I wanted to tell her that I didn't understand either.

"Hey, guys, you know Jake, right?" he asked, gesturing towards me.

"Yeah, dude, how's it going?" a tall, skinny boy said. He was wearing jeans and a long t-shirt, a backwards cap set on top of his shaggy brown hair. He reached out his hand and I complied, slapping it against his. I dimly recognized him from my English class—his name was something like Patrick or Peter.

"Who's your girlfriend?" a shorter one said, looking Bella up and down. I saw her cheeks burn red, and I immediately put my arm around her, feeling protective. "She's cute."

"I'm not his girlfriend," Bella mumbled. The boy cocked his head, smiling. "Oh, really?" he asked. "Well, then. How's it going, sweetheart?" I almost snarled, gripping my arm tighter around her.

"Hey, man, stop that," Adam said. "You don't even know her."

"Well, maybe I want to," he said, sliding in the seat next to Bella. "What's your sign, baby?"

The crowd laughed at that one, their howls causing a few of the couples in the store to look over.

"Please leave," I said calmly. "Or I might do something that I do _not_ want to be held responsible for."

"I'm just kidding around, dude," the boy said, looking over at his friends. "Calm down."

"Just leave, alright?" I said, ushering them towards the door.

The boys murmured a few things, but they made their way to leave anyway, obviously realizing that I could take most of them in a fight. Adam stayed behind, grimacing.

"Sorry," he said. "Those guys are idiots."

"Not your fault," I nodded, rubbing Bella's shoulder. She looked grateful.

"Yeah. Well," he shrugged. "You guys have a good night." I smiled at him as waved before opening the door.

"You okay?" I asked, turning to Bella.

"You don't have to protect me, Jacob," she said quietly. "I've handled it myself for the past seventeen years, you know."

"I know," I said. "But I want to. I love you, Bella. I'll always protect you."

Bella smiled softly, sighing. "I know."

She leaned her head on my shoulder, exhaling. She reached her hand over to me, taking my chin in her fingers. She turned my face towards her, then brushed them across my cheekbones, stopping to grip my nose, lightly sweeping them over my eyelids. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. The touch of her long fingers sent shots of electricity down my spine, right into my toes. I felt her lift her head, placing both her hands on m cheeks. My heart was beating a lot faster than I ever thought was humanly possible when she brushed her lips against mine, her cool breath mixing with my warmth. I let out a quiet groan, opening my eyes. She had somehow already placed her head back on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," she whispered. "I'm _so_ sorry."

I nodded. "I know. I know."

--

**END**


	3. Closer

**A/N:** Chapter 3 is here! Review, pretty please, and tell me how I'm doing. Couldn't resist a beach scene.

--

"Okay, that's great. Now just don't—"

Too late. It shouldn't have surprised me that Bella wasn't the best at learning how to ride a motorcyle. Just watching her _walk_ should have keyed me off to that. I groaned as she ended up on the ground again. I used my faster-than-average speed (to say the least) to quickly appear by her side.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed, as she smiled up at me, her palms and knees covered in scrapes.

"You know," she said, rubbing the side of her head. "It really doesn't help when you come out of nowhere like that. I mean, what if I had a concussion?"

"If you had a concussion, you wouldn't be talking," I said, smirking. "How's the head, Bells?"

She bit her lip, and a surge of heat made its way through my body. Jesus, Bella.

"I'll live," she said, finally. I went behind her and put my arms over her hips. She leaned her head back against my chest and moaned a little as I easily lifted her off the ground. I was very glad that I wasn't facing her at the moment, because I was having a little trouble concealing my…um…_excitement_.

"Thanks, Jake," she said, beginning to un-strap her helmet. God knows what could have happened to her if she _hadn't_ been wearing one.

"Seriously, honey," I said, picking up the bike from the ground. "You are very lucky that you're naturally clumsy. I don't know _how_ you manage to explain all the bruises you get to Charlie on a daily basis."

"If I wasn't, as you so eloquently put it, 'naturally clumsy', I wouldn't _have_ to explain."

"True," I shrugged. "In any case, I think we should call it a day."

Bella groaned. "Oh, come on, Jacob. It's just a couple scratches!"

"And if we continue those scratches will turn into a trip to the hospital."

Bella pouted her lip, but began walking toward the truck. "It's only, like, one. What are we going to _do_ for the rest of the day? Charlie and Billy aren't supposed to be back from fishing till later tonight."

"I don't know," I said. "What do _you_ want to do?"

Bella cocked her head. "You know how I am about making decisions, Jake."

I chuckled, opening the door to the car and climbing in. Bella laughed as I hit my head. It was proof that I had grown _too much_ when I couldn't fit inside of Bella's monster of a truck.

"Just pick something. I'm bored," Bella whined, sitting next to me.

"Wow, sorry spending time with me has become such of a _nuisance_," I joked, raising my eyebrows.

"Shut up," Bella said, rolling her eyes. I smiled, switching the ignition on.

"Well, we could always go to the beach," I said. I stuck my head out the open window, breathing in the warm air. "It's pretty decent out, actually."

"Sure," Bella said, shrugging. "Sounds good to me."

I drove us to First Beach, keeping my eyes on the road but sneaking looks at Bella every now and then. I couldn't help but notice the flush in her cheeks, and the healthy look of her skin. Her eyes were bright and her hair was shiny. I cringed when I compared her to the broken Bella that had visited me months ago. She had come a long way, and it made me proud to know that _I_ had helped her go back to the beautiful girl sitting next to me.

I parked the truck and hopped out, running over to the other side and opening the door for Bella.

"Why, thank you, sir," she said, doing a small curtsy. I bowed and she giggled as I put out my arm. She linked hers through it, sticking her head high into the air. We walked down into the sand like this, until I picked her up, placing her on my shoulders.

"Jacob Black!" she yelped, squealing. I laughed and placed her onto the sand, then sat down next to her, facing the ocean. She ruffled my hair, shaking her head. "You need to learn some manners, boy," she said, with mock sincerity.

I just smiled back at her, my grin taking up most of my face. She looked sweetly back at me, biting her lip. "You have the best smile," she said, still staring. My heart sped up at the insignificant compliment. She blushed, quickly looking away.

I smirked, then started to unbutton my cut-off jeans, revealing cotton boxers beneath.

Bella's eyes bugged out. "Jake, what are you _doing_?"

I shrugged. "I'm going swimming," I said, pulling the knot out of my hair and letting it drop to the sides of my face. I needed a haircut; my black locks were messy and went past my chin. I started to walk towards the ocean, turning backwards to look at Bella. "Are you coming?" I asked.

"Are you _crazy_?" she said, holding her arms out. "It's only, like, seventy degrees out!"

I smiled, then pointed at my chest. "Built in radiator, remember? Trust me, you won't be cold as long as you stay near me."

Bella swallowed, and I could see her debating internally. Finally, she pulled her arms into her button-up shirt, slipping it off to reveal a tank top underneath. She unbuttoned her jeans next, leaving her in a thin pair of boy shorts. I chuckled at the flowered print. Her cheeks burned red.

"I'm not coming if your going to laugh at me," she said, crossing her arms.

"Oh, you're so sensitive," I teased. I ran over and grabbed her arm, pulling her into the water with me. She squirmed and shivered immediately.

"It's so cold!" she said, running her hands over her goose-bumped arms.

"C'mere," I mumbled, pulling her to me. She stopped shivering right away, moving her face into my neck. I could feel her short breaths against my ear, and I shuddered.

"Don't tell me _you're_ cold," she said, her voice vibrating on my skin.

"I'm not," I answered, pressing her closer to me. She let out a sigh. "I'm perfect. Really."

--

**END**


	4. Mistletoe

**A/N: **Okay, so I know this wouldn't _really_ happen. But it's not so OOC that I can't pretend it did. Funnily enough, I'm Jewish.

--

In the Olympic Peninsula, there is no such thing as a white Christmas. There is a gray Christmas (which is close), and a black Christmas (that one's at night), and a green Christmas (that's not really much different than a green _non_-Christmas), but there is never a _white _Christmas. For the sixteen years that I had lived in La Push, snow had never managed to last more than a day. And, if by some miraculous chance, it just so happened that the flakes began falling on December the twenty-fifth, some anti-Hallmark weatherman would surely be correct in predicting the "unforeseen" rain showers.

So I wasn't surprised to walk out the door that morning and find a light drizzle beginning to fall on my cheeks and nose, cold and wet; but I stuck my head up anyway, sniffing the air, which had the taste and feel of an icicle. I let out a loud howl, shaking my hair around my face, letting it crystallize with rain and frozen oxygen. I laughed as I heard a few loud yelps in the distance, reminding me that the rest of the pack wasn't too far away.

"Wow, someone's got the Christmas spirit."

I jumped as I heard the light voice coming from the side, and immediately blushed as I looked down at my attire: red and green striped boxers; nothing else, with candy canes printed down the sides. They had been a joke gift from Quil the year before, but I had run out of clean underwear a couple days ago. I glanced over at Bella, who was not even trying to conceal her smirk, a pleasant look with her red cheeks (colored from the cold, for once, and not from embarrassment), and ice-bitten nose.

"Uh, hold on a sec," I said, running inside and pulling on a pair of pajama pants that were lying on the floor. Great. Reindeer print.

Bella followed me inside, giggling at this new addition to my wardrobe.

"I never knew you were so _religious_," she said.

I shot her a look and let out a low growl. She just smiled wider. I rolled my eyes at her, looking around for a band to pull up my hair with. She slid one off her wrist and flung at me; yelling a "think fast" on the way. I caught it with little trouble, smoothing like flicking it around my dark mane.

"So," I sighed, sitting down on the couch and patting the seat next to me. Bella hopped on, leaning into my side. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

She shrugged, running her fingers through her own damp locks. "It's Christmas, Jake. I thought you might want to wish me a happy holiday."

I grinned—I had that warm and fuzzy kind of feeling I always got from being around Bella combined with the automatic happiness I get around the winter celebration season. She looked up at me from her spot on my shoulder, her eyes crinkled at the edges like I liked them, the corners of her lips faintly turned up.

"Merry Christmas, Bells," I whispered, softly kissing her forehead. She smiled wider and closed her eyes, her dimples growing deeper in her cheeks. I touched one of them with my finger, letting out a little gasp when I felt how cold her skin was. So cold. She bit her lip and I pressed my whole warm palm against her face, warming it underneath my hand.

"Mmmm," she said, stretching her legs out on the couch and pressing her neck deeper into my collarbone. "Merry Christmas, Jake."

I just watched her for a few minutes, stroking her pink cheeks every now and then, listening to the sound of her breathing; to how it was so in sync with mine. Keeping her eyes shut, she reached out her arm and traced her fingers over the muscles in my chest, then pressed her small hand against it. The icy skin sent ripples down my spine, and I shuddered quietly.

She opened her lids, finally, tilting her head up towards me. She seemed to have forgotten about her imaginary boundaries in her morning daze, and I didn't mind. She licked her small pink mouth, chewing on her bottom lip. I brought my hand down to her neck, massaging the back of it. Her lips parted in a perfect 'o', and I took this as a good sign, leaning down and pressing my lips very very carefully against hers.

Beautiful.

Her cold mouth felt good against my hot one, her breath sweet and wet. I stayed there for a count; _one two three four—_I debated just going for it, pressing rougher against her; every part of my body wanted to have her, take her, right there on my dad's couch, but I didn't. I leaned back and looked into her eyes again. They were sad and perfect.

"Oh, Jake…" she sighed, running her fingers over my cheekbones. I tilted into her palm, the edges of my mouth curving downwards involuntarily. I forced them up, stretching my face into a grin I knew she would see right through.

"Misteltoe," I mumbled, gesturing towards a patch of holly sitting on the coffee table in front of us.

Bella smiled a poignant little smile, her eyes still trained on mine, her fingers still caressing the side of my face. She bit her lip out of habit and leaned up, pressing her soft lips against my cheek, lingering there for a moment, cool air freezing my skin instantly. She moved to my ear, kissing the throbbing temple, then the top of my head. "Wouldn't wanna break tradition," she murmured. I shivered against her touch, my muscles tightening.

"I love Christmas," I said, really grinning now.

Bella chuckled. "Me too," she laughed, trailing her fingers down to my neck and staring into my eyes. "But, Jake—"

I interrupted her, jumping up from the couch. I didn't want to here it. In all honesty, I didn't really care. "Come on," I smiled, pulling her up with me. "Let's go get some pancakes."

--

**END**


	5. Dreaming

**A/N:** This one's a little sadder, a little sweeter, and a little less unlikely (they seem to be going in that direction as I get farther). R&R.

--

I banged my head on the windowsill before I even got in.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath, rubbing the sore spot. Bella didn't stir; she had always been a very heavy sleeper, and the sound of my deep voice muttering profanities did nothing but cause her to mumble quietly and turn over in her bed.

I knew it wasn't right for me to be here. I was creeping myself out a little—I felt like some stalker-ish Peeping Tom, sneaking into a pretty girl's window in the middle of the night. But I wasn't doing it for any dirty reason, nothing like that, not at _all_; I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I lay in bed for hours first; it was three in the morning when I finally decided that sleep was not coming and it was useless to continue to try.

I walked across her carpeted floor in the dark, my vision sharp and nocturnal, a perk that comes with the wolf territory, soundlessly lowering myself to the edge of the bed. I watched her face, so calm and open in sleep, not the protected shell that she kept so hidden during the daytime. She sighed and I put my hand on her cheek, feeling the soft skin underneath, and immediately I relaxed, the tension in my chest slowly melting away.

Bella smiled in her unconscious state, and I thought for a moment that she must be waking up, but her eyes stayed closed, fluttering slightly.

"Jacob," she mumbled, so quiet I was sure I was imagining it. But then she said it again, louder: "Jacob." She frowned. "Closer," she added, her hand reaching out for something in her dream. I automatically took her palm in mine, and I could have sworn I felt her squeeze it.

"Jake, Jake, don't," she cried softly, turning her head restlessly. I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking. "Stay," she breathed, gripping my hand tighter. "I need you, Jake."

I took in a breath sharply, dropping her hand. My heart was beating fast and loud, and when her eyes opened I was sure it was because she could here it. She whimpered, her hand going to her face and mouth, then to mine, groping for a signal in the complete darkness. She moved her small fingers carefully, gently over my features, tracing my eyes and nose and mouth. I was breathing heavily, and I could see that her face was twisted into confusion and hurt and surprise and…hope? What was she looking for? _Who_ was she looking for?

"It's me," I whispered, putting my hand over hers as it traced the line of my lips. "Bella, it's Jacob."

She dropped her arm, her breath steadying. "Oh," she said. The word hung thickly in the air like a question, and it ran through my head, repeating itself over and over—_Oh, it's you. Oh, you're here. Oh, I wish you weren't. Oh, I'm glad. Oh. Oh. _Her pink mouth parted, taking on the shape of her words.

A tear dripped silently down her pale cheek.

"What's wrong, honey?" I said, running my thumb over the damp skin.

"Nothing," she muttered. "Nothing." She said it louder, as if assuring herself that it was the truth.

I leaned closer to her, running my fingers through her messy hair. "Tell me," I murmured in her ear.

She was quiet for a second, then she leaned into me, letting her head rest on my chest, removing her gaze from my own invisible one.

"It's just," she started, breathing slowly, "he used to do that." My throat tightened and closed, burning at the very mention of _him_. She paused, and I waited for her to go on. "You know…come in at night. Check on me. Watch me sleep."

I didn't respond, pulling her closer to me.

Silence.

Finally: "I'm sorry." I mumbled it in to her hair, stringing the words together in a truthful breath; because I _was_ sorry, because I didn't want her to be thinking of him, hurting from him, but in so many ways I _wasn't_. Not for looking at her. Not for her words or the way she said them. Especially not for her closest thoughts, the ones in her sleep—the ones that told the truth. Guilty, maybe, but not _sorry_.

She sighed. "It's okay." She pulled on a lock of my hair, twirling it in her fingers.

"I couldn't sleep," I confessed, her hair tickling my lips as my breath blew it around. "I needed to see you."

She nodded. "Was I…" she blushed, pressing her face into my chest to hide it. She didn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah," I said. I tried to hide my smile but it was impossible. She groaned.

"Oh, Jesus, Jake, what did I say?"

I grinned wider as she looked up at me, her brown eyes adjusting to the dark. "You were saying my name," I said as she chewed on her lip, turning a darker shade of red. "More like moaning it, actually,"

"You're lying," she mumbled.

"No." I pressed my lips together to hide the satisfaction that was bubbling up in my stomach. "You said, 'closer' and 'stay,'" I left out the last part. I didn't want her to take it back, not when I knew she would never say it out loud.

She let out a breath. "Oh," she repeated again, tucking a stray hair under her ear. "Yes."

"Do you…" I paused, gauging her reaction, "do you know what you were dreaming about?"

She frowned, crinkling her brow line cutely. "You were leaving," she said. "Moving…somewhere or another. You said you didn't care about me. I was…" she blushed again, "I was trying to get you to stay."

I looked at her, making sure she knew I meant what I said. "That would never happen, Bells. You know that, right?"

"Right," she recurred quietly. "Yes, I know that, Jake."

She leaned into my arms, closing her eyes. I could see her breathing getting steadier, and mine was, too, comfortable now that I was with her. I was drifting away in sleep when I heard it—her soft sigh, her grip tightening around my waist, and the breathy, perfect "I love you" as we both let go of consciousness.

--

**END**


	6. Questioning

**A/N:** Um yeah.

--

I looked at the compass in my hand, turning around a little until it pointed north. "Okay," I said, nodding my head, "if you were heading towards the center, and we came from the west…" I trailed off, working out the logistics of it in my head. I pointed to the right a little. "This way, Bells."

She smiled, and I reached out my hand for hers, helping her over a rock.

"How are you so good at this, Jake?" she asked, keeping her grip on my hand as we walked through the shady trees. I concentrated on the warm feeling of skin on skin, on the hard ground beneath my feet, footsteps—_one two one two one two_—a simple, easy melody. I hoped I would remember things like this forever.

"Before my mom, you know, was gone…" Bella looked up apologetically, squeezing my palm.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No," I said, pursing my lips. "It's okay. Really. If there's anyone I _can_ talk to it about, it's you."

She looked up at me, and I was surprised to find her eyes gleaming a little. "That's…wow, Jake. You have no idea how good that makes me feel."

I grinned a little; my insides did a flip. "Yeah, well," I said, blushing. How intelligent. "Anyway, she was a real Rez girl—everyone says I look a lot like she did; tall and happy, dark eyes, big smile. She loved everything about the forest—sometimes she would take me out here and we'd just lie by the trees, her rubbing my back as I napped."

I paused, smiling at the memory. Bella bit her lip, listening. I focused my attention back on my footing. "We used to come out here, weekends mostly, and she'd take me hiking. We had this little stream we would go to…God, I haven't thought about that place in forever. It was like, just _ours_, you know? No one else knew about it. Just this pretty little brook and patches of moss all around, trees that fit the shapes of our backs…"

Bella made a quiet humming sound, her eyes filled with something I couldn't understand. They were sad and thoughtful, but the smile on her lips was real and perfect.

"What are you thinking about, Bells?"

The smile faded. "Nothing," she murmured. She gently pulled her hand away from mine, wrapping it around her waist. I pulled them away from her body, taking her wrists in mine.

"Please, honey."

Her pink mouth twitched, and she dropped her arms to the side; took my hand again.

We walked in silence. I could hear my feet touch the ground, the difference evident from Bella's soft and clumsy steps. I heard the birds far away and the wind. I heard the leaves moving and water flowing somewhere. I heard the sun shining and the trees growing and the north pulling a little magnet forward, guiding us to wherever it was we were headed. But I knew we wouldn't made it. There was some part of me that _knew_ this had to do with _him_. The way Bella's face changed whenever we came out here; hopefulness that didn't make sense or have reason. There was something out there that reminded her of him, and she _wanted_ to find it. She still wanted to remember him. After everything, she wanted to be closer to him.

I sucked in a breath. "I love you, Bella."

She looked at me, her brown eyes wide, her eyebrows scrunched down on her pale face. I thought she might yell or pity me, but she looked up at my face with a dark sadness that I hadn't seen before. "Why, Jake? Why do you love me?"

I chuckled, but my eyes were serious and trained evenly on hers. "Why _don't_ I love you, Bells? You're beautiful and kind and sweet. You make me laugh even when you don't mean to. You don't care about age or height or grades or whatever; you're one of the few people that judge on gut feelings. You're clumsy and silly and sad and serious and I can't think of a single thing about you that doesn't make me want to smile until my teeth break. I love you. There can't be enough time for me to say it. I just _do_. You're part of me."

I didn't really care that I sounded like some stupid love-struck teenager. I mean, I kind of _was_, wasn't I? Telling her about that didn't have my heart beating like her touch did. Because it was the truth. It wasn't hard to admit or even consider—I knew that I loved her and that I always would love her, that we had something stronger than a tenth grade crush, something stronger than marriage or partners or whatever. I knew that forever meant _forever_ and always meant _always_ and love meant real, true, heart-stopping, pulsing, beating, infinitely never-ending _love_; the kind books are written about and poetry mocks without quite getting it right. Still, I cared about what _she _thought, and looking down at her I was afraid at what I might've found.

"Jacob…" she whispered, avoiding my gaze. She kept it fixed on her feet like I had, watching each step as her carefully trotted over twigs and stumps. "I…it's not that I don't…" She closed her mouth, opened it again, closed it again, inhaling the cool air. "I do love you, Jacob Black," she said, finally, locking her stare with mine. "I love you a lot more than you will ever know. And I'm thankful and _eternally _grateful that you've saved me. Because you have, you know," she added, running her thumb over the back of my hand, "you really have saved me." Her eyes grew darker, and I could see her steps become slower and more controlled. "But…"

"Yes, I expected that," I said, sighing.

She smiled a tiny sad smile. "I still…miss him. I still _love him_. I don't want to, but I do. And I don't think it's just gonna disappear any time soon. And I can't…think of you like that, Jake, when…_he _is still in my mind. I'm sorry"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Me, too."

I tilted the corners of mouth up in something that I'm sure resembled a grin, but the truth was it didn't really matter.

Because I would always love her. And, eventually, that might be enough.

--

**END**


	7. Apologies

**A/N:** I'm pretty disappointed in the way this turned out, but I'm gonna post it anyway because I spent a while on it and I don't want it rotting away on my hard drive.

--

It was Halloween. You couldn't _tell_ it was Halloween if you looked at my house, or at my dad, or my neighborhood. Nobody really celebrated Halloween on the Rez. I'm not sure why, actually.

When Bella had told me that a girl at her school was having a party (and I noticed how she said "girl" and not "friend"), at first I was hesitant. But she did that thing with her eyes and I found myself not only saying yes but also agreeing to wear a costume.

The doorbell rang.

"Hey, stranger," I said, opening the door and finding her standing there. She wore black tights and boots, a black leotard and cape; kitten ears and a tail finish it off—her face is streaked with black lines and the blush that graces her cheeks only makes me smile wider. She took one look at me and started to laugh, her soft voice bouncing off of imaginary walls and wrapping tape around my heart.

"Oh, Jesus, Jake," she muttered, shaking her head after the laughter subsides. "Are you serious?" She gestured towards my clothes: brown jeans and a brown jacket, nothing underneath—and, of course, black painted whiskers on my face.

"What?" I asked. I let out a little bark and smile at her. "I'm a dog."

She bit her lip to cover another giggle. "We match."

I grin and take her hand, swinging it alongside me as we walk back to her truck. She preps me with the names of the girls who are hosting the party and I forget them the second she sound them out, my mind concentrate on the shapes her lips are making with the red tint she put on them tonight. My breathing is faster than normal and she blushes a deeper red every second.

"Jacob?" she asked, and I tune in, staring aimlessly at the confused look on her face. "Hey, you with me, Rover?" I nod. "We're here," she said, pointing to the average looking house in front of us.

We got out of the car and I took her hand again, squeezing it. She seemed nervous and I couldn't imagine why, but I held on tighter anyway. She's greeted with waves and hugs and squealing when we walk inside; a girl with curly runs up to her and pulls her immediately aside, shooting my sideways glances. I can hear her not-so-hushed tone as she frantically whispers to Bella a few feet away.

"I thought you said you were bringing that sophomore from the reservation!" she said. I hear Bella's pause and imagine the purple shade her face is turning now.

"His name's Jacob, Jess," she answered quietly. "And he _is_ 'that sophomore from the reservation.'"

"Well, damn," the girl whistled under her breath. "Maybe I should start hanging out in La Push more often." I chuckled a little louder than I mean to, and Bella looks over at me, her eyes squinted in a ferocious look. The other girl is oblivious.

"Hi," she said, sticking out her hand. "I'm Jessica."

"Jacob," I answered, shaking her palm. It's rougher and tanner than Bella's, and I realize it feels uncomfortable holding it, even for a couple of seconds. I drop it quickly and Jessica gives me a look that says _oh, that's why I've never noticed him before_, and I put my arm around Bella's back, seeing her awkward glances at her 'friend.'

"C'mon," I said. "Introduce me to everyone else." Bella smiled at me and leaned into my shoulder.

We spent a couple hours mingling—occasionally I would lose track of Bella in the crowd, senior girls that for some reason had taken an interest in me and boys that stared endlessly at Bella. I would look around for her frequently and we would usually come back together, trading smirks at the how uncomfortable both of us were in the party setting.

It was close to one when I noticed that Bella had been accepting the cups people had given her. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me; we _were_ at a party, it was expected that some underage drinking would occur. But I never thought that _Bella_ would, considering how…well, _good_ she was.

I was talking to her friend Angela when she found me again. Angela seemed to be one of the only girls Bella liked, and they smiled at each other as she fell into my lap. I was surprised, but I wrapped my arms around her waist anyway.

"Did you guys plan that?" Angela asked, pointing at our costumes. We laughed, shaking our heads.

"No, jus' always on the same level, Jakey and me," Bella slurred. I guess she had more to drink than I thought. She turned around and straddled me, putting a hand on my face. "We're best friends, y'know?" she said, turning her head to Angela. "He _likes_ me," she murmured, tracing the outline of my eyes lightly with her fingers, feather-touches against my hot skin. I shivered and she giggled. "He _really_ likes me."

She moved her mouth to the side of my neck, kissing the skin. I swallowed and my eyes closed involuntarily before it hit me—they popped open and I gently pried her off.

"Bella…" I said. "Come on, let me take you home."

She chuckled then hiccupped, putting her arms around my neck. "See?" she said, smiling at Angela, who was looking as worried as me at this point. "He wantstah take me _home_!"

I rolled my eyes and let her hold on to me. If she was clumsy on a normal day, I didn't _want_ to know how badly she stumbled drunk.

I led her out of the house, opening the door to her truck and helping her in. Her laugh was shrill and it sounded different from the one I was used to—the sweet, shy one. This was inhibited, open, raw, sarcastic and it _scared_ me.

We drove back to my house because I _knew_ what would happen if I brought her back to Charlie this way, and I also knew that as long as she was with me, it wouldn't matter where she spent the night. Her eyelids were drooping and I picked her up in my arms like child and she flung her long limbs around my neck, squeezing tightly and burying her face against my pulse. She shifted and wrapped her legs around my stomach, and I placed my hands on her back. She was sighing and whispering, but I couldn't make any of it out—just the feel of her breath on my skin. It made my hair stand up and I thought I might drop her just from the trembling going on inside of me.

When we got to my room, I placed her on my bed, taking off her shoes and the cape she still had dangling around her neck. She kept her grip tight and moved her hands to my back, pulling me close. When we were face to face I realized that she was crying. She pressed her lips to mine and breathed, "I love you, I really do." Her mouth moved down to my collarbone and then my chest and I could feel the tears move fast and cold against me, smearing a trail of salt across my body.

"Bella," I groaned. "Bella, stop." She kept going and finally I pushed her away. She bit her lip.

"Don't you want me, Jacob?" she asked, her face red and her eyes swollen from drinking and crying and lack of sleep.

"Honey, you're not even going to remember this in the morning," I told her, wiping away a few tears. I let her lean against my chest now, softly.

"He doesn't remember me," she whispered. "He doesn't _love _me."

My heart broke.

"You love me," she said, quieter. I could see sleep was coming. "I'm sorry I can't forget him, Jake. I'm sorry I can't stop loving him."

When she was asleep I pried her arms from my waist and walked out of the room.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Me, too."

--

**END**

**A/N 2:** P.S.: I just realized that the last line is the same as the last spoken sentence in the chapter before this. Um, my subconscious is playing tricks on me?


	8. Tutoring

**A/N:** Embracing my French roots. Sorry if I get a few words wrong, I don't _actually_ speak it…

Enjoy.

--

I knocked on her door and immediately a huge grin spread across my face. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity, clutching the textbooks I had in my arms tighter to my side. The door opened and my smile grew _impossibly _wider at the sight of her.

She laughed and shook her head, smirking at wide beam. "Hey, Jake."

I chuckled and walked into the living room, the ceiling feeling strangely low. I still wasn't used to my new other-worldly height.

"Um, Jacob?" Bella asked, crinkling her brow. "Maybe you should sit down. I don't know how much longer it's gonna be till you," she giggled, gesturing towards the hanging lamps over the coffee table, "you know, _break_ something."

I glared at her. "Thanks for the suggestion, Bells." I grabbed her quickly by the waist and she squealed, kicking against my back.

"Put me down!"

"Well, alright," I snickered. I walked over to the couch and threw her down on it, hearing the muffled _thump_ as her body hit the cushions. I plopped down next to her and stretched my long legs in front of me, resting my arms behind my head.

Bella glowered at me, clumsily attempting to get up. "You are _such_ an asshole, Jacob Black," she said, hitting my arm lightly.

I raised my eyebrows. "Now, now, watch the language, Miss Swan. I don't think Chief Swan would appreciate it very much."

She responded by clicking her tongue and crossing her arms, the cutest blush spreading across her cheeks. "Let's just start on that homework, okay, mutt?"

I faked a hurt look. "Ouch, Bells." She smiled and I gestured for her to come closer, placing a notebook on my lap. "Seriously, though, you think you could help me with this?"

We worked quietly for a little while, laughing over her comments on my English work and handwriting.

"What other subjects are you taking, Jake?" she asked, sipping a glass of water. I watched as she licked her lips, catching a clear drop as it fell close to her chin. I swallowed and tried to remember what she had just said.

"Um, sorry, what?" I mumbled as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly."

"C'mon, I'm sorry, I was…distracted."

Bella shook her head, as though she was exasperated, but her eyes were laughing. "Whatever, Jacob. I asked about your other classes."

I twisted my mouth, thinking. I didn't really like school that much—any time that I was away from Bella, actually, I considered wasted. "Um…well, geometry…and English, obviously. Phys ed, French…"

Bella snickered. "You take French?"

I pulled my shoulders back and pursed my lips. "Yes. Your point?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…I just can't imagine you speaking French."

"Oh, really?"

She shrugged again. It was actually quite irritating. "Really."

I looked at her, biting my lip. I leaned forward, looking straight into her eyes. She shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. "Bella, mes l'amoureuse," I said, bringing my voice down lower than normal. "Chaque jour je t'aime d'avantage. Au'jourdhui plus que hier, et biens moins que demain."

She stared at me, her mouth open in the most adorable way. She blinked a couple times.

"Wow," she breathed. "What does that mean?"

"My beloved," I said, repeating my words from before. "Each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday, and much less than tomorrow."

She blushed and I noticed that her eyes were glinting. I bit my lip and tried to look away, but she tilted her head and caught my chin in her hand.

"Jake…" she said, copying my own gesture and chewing on her lip.

We both stayed there for a moment, the air stilling around us. Then she leaned forward and my breathing sped up, feeling her warmth so close to mine. She moved her lips near my ear, tugged on my arm, whispered, "Me, too," and I shuddered at the feel of her breath on my skin.

And just as quickly, she had gotten up and walked away.

I sat there and waited for my heart to start beating again.

--

**END**


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